Kiss
Puke
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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