I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
