I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
