I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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