please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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