Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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