A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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