Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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