Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
