So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
