It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
