You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
