We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
