Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
