What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
