yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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