so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
