Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
