She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
