Only a mothe r could love this liver
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
