I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
