I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize