I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
