Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
