Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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