so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
