I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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