My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize