And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
