tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
