You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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