In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
