butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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