New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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