I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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