I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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