Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
