did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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