It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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