Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
