wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
