my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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