my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
