He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
