I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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