is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
there is puke in my bra ... again
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