this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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