there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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