talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
