we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
