If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
