I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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