Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
