dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
