I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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