wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
