She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
