I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
