physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
