did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's just like the Real World with babies
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
