She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
