i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
