I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
