I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
